Author: Pamela

I see a woman with cat eyeglasses walking down the halls of eternity.

The painting started as a large woman in a red dress, her hair covered by a long red veil. You can no longer see any of that.  She felt to be a mother superior archetype.

This large looming figure was pulling a tree out of the ground to the far left of the canvas. It been growing in the dark of the past.  I sensed the use of power and an old world of punishment and criticism. She made me nervous but that anger was keeping me safe. She was fast and swift as she pulled it up and held it up to the sun. She demanded seen the behaviors hidden and a change as she planted it in the far right of the canvas, signaling the future.

I could see her twirling in her red dress raising it up. It brought me feelings of freedom and joy. The complexity of that figure included my own family and the Catholic church. She was the church herself, a community beyond formal institutions, the red of the blood that carried it’s history. The old woman in red was great wisdom. A sense of Sofia and my own great grandmothers I had never met and feel like I know intimately.

After that scene I had mixed all the colors together creating the background of how it appears now.

Earlier in the day, I saw in my mind, images of  gold and crimson triangles floating together. It felt like salvation and endearing love entering the bloodstream.  It felt relieving to put it on the canvas. The gold of healing energy moving through this great mother.  I was happy to paint it and felt comfortable with its reality.  The known work to bring the best out of a situation. This great mother of wisdom that seeks liberation from suffering.

The work of the past mingled with the energy of a new day and what it can do. What it sees. What it won’t stand for and what it can take no more of. Ripping the roots right out of the land of the past and raising it up to the sun. The source of nurturing guidance. A new way to interact with this world. The healing of the great mother in the psyche.

Putting color in  the triangles each one felt like a different personality. A continued expression of individuality in a state of togetherness. A feel of ancientness in continued effort.

This figure was taking a step forward. I could feel the purposeful step and also a bit of balance finding. The weight of itself made up of so many windows into the soul.  Each bit of color felt to be a personality of a family tree. The weight of family hard to walk with, but she does. The endearing love of a great mother.

Some of the windows are dirty and rough around the edges. They spoke of wars and tattered clothes. The way of the poor and the hungry of this world.

Pulling the tree out of the dark and moving it to the sun she wants to let the beautiful blue of the new sky show the way – recognizing the great power of the Holy Mother, it is the communion of people.

There was a feeling of being a child of God in this painting. A way children born of her can let the sun shine on us despite the back breaking labor of existence. A great mother finds a way to nurture and guide her children where to find the best of themselves and how to walk in this world as hers.

There is more of course, always so much more.

 

 

A soul landing!

Into the realm of new realities. An expression of exuberance. A flight into the great void of long journeyed lovers come from far away.

There was a launch from the past into the future, back and thru. West to east and a firm handshake of forgetfulness.

A great flight north blindly following an inspiration for humanity and a strange concoction of emotions and thoughts that brought me out of myself, finally, again. Into everything all at once.

A revelation into the portals of change and coalesced beautification of a soul glowing with an outpouring of pontification.  I heard his voice. He was actualized potential – zang goes the meeting house.

We had wisdom flying all around us. His voice and dedication felt real.  Full of answers and solutions that lead to the greater heights of connection of all people. Deepened knowledge of what we are up against, what to do, and what it would take to keep going.

The interactions of people create an opening, an access point for energy and effort to make changes and inspire new ideas and greater plans that go into far off directions. In that capacity for impact  is written what happens.

Taking up the task of sacrificing efforts to the greater good of humanity grants the world a look inside your life and takes from it the very best you can offer with trouble accepting less.

A knowing is enlivened, a knowing what has been, what is now and what is to come. A wisdom of knowledge opened and contained in a space and yet somehow sent out as well.

A dance in the moment of exactly now.

A dance out of a limited way of understanding the self.

An electric dance of NOW!

Changes to the mind and heart. Ways of weakness in the race for greatness are transfigured to a strength.  Forgiveness and healing ensues. Justice prevails. I had met someone gifted in the ways of freedom.

Our capacities of functioning are beyond this mundane world. What we can do and know are limited until they aren’t.  Ways of living in harmony with the depth of what humans can know and how we  impact. The way that a soul can be set free from the body in times of rapturous connection and greet the great night of everything that is happening and in the deep unconscious what needs to be done. A wake up call to greater potential of sacrifice.

After a night of such an opening I raced home to paint. The bottom left of the painting came through with ease in my hand. When I say that, I mean just a simple movement of the wrist felt ecstatic. To let the hand be guided by intelligence and knowing beyond the conscious control. My hand felt liberated  enjoyment of expression. It was highly pleased with where it found itself.

The movement was simple and fast, creating a kind of filing cabinet or skyscraper in a strange land.  A heavenly place of knowledge and what felt like the only thing that is lasting and real, the recordings of soul activity.

There was a strong and matter of fact movement to paint the very cloaked, held back and hidden language of symbols. Hidden still in what I painted, seeming to represent a brick wall and a secret language that has shown itself in other paintings with equaled feelings of importance to me.   It felt like ancient codes of remembrance and change. It was the library of karma in action.

The Nefertiti like winged woman with her elegant flight home feeding herself and others from the berries she carries around her own neck. Lifetimes of knowledge and wisdom dripping from her ancient outstretched structure.

The tall golden skull, it was almost too difficult to paint in any other way than how it came out despite feeling its disappointment in lack of skill regarding such importance of what went on in that heightened dome. The feeling was of remembering I am a child to such a thing. The lines felt like they were representing stairways that go in both directions like electric currents.

An apartment as a purple box and learning the intense meaning of simplicity that can be so profound.

Visitations by great joyous muses of freedom and liberation brought me into the realm of shared existence, a cleaning up of selfishness, and showed me still deeper the dirtied world of heartache and existential angst, willing to go into the thick and gooey disheveling of a soul and pull from it a journey.

Right there with me was a great dome of wisdom reaching the heavens and putting it’s knowledge to work.  A muse that cleans up the space and mind muddled by confusion and despair of this world. A great opening into truth of shared paths brought about by shared space and time. It’s what we can do.

There’s so much more to say and so much more to do. From the green of day to the black of night.

Great capacities are found in the human mechanisms of connection with a furry of energies flying through the filing cabinets of our souls and breaking through to a new day.

We are powerful and we are here. May we enact the highest of our abilities and faculties to bring the best of humanity forward. Change is made every day by great powers seen and unseen. May we all learn how we can truly work together to make our lives and the lives in the future harmonious and healed and go in the books as having done all we can.

This was painted in May of 2020, during the pandemic, the great pause of capitalism and the Black Lives Matter movement forward that had occurred.

A push forward with a mighty force to continue shining light onto the reality of  racism and hate in this country.  It was the year I learned just how sensitive we are to real time moments and messaging regarding the world and the collective power.

The day before George Floyd was killed I was overcome by a knowing that something was going to change the societal landscape and conversation regarding racism.   An uprising of black and brown skinned people to take back more power and control over the equity and safety of their lives. I was made aware of its importance and told of its coming.

Meditation, Buddhism, yoga and the work of liberation from the hands of illusion, as I practiced it, kept me in a space of observing and being present to everything all at once, right now, allowing the truth to be known. Feeling the vibrations in the air. Being with it. The information that is formed in space and time and moves about freely.

The information came through in voices from another place. A poetic whisper of the coming work of justice seekers and a teaching of the restraint that we will see despite the crimes that brought about the need for justice. The horrific nightmare of hatred and the long history and story of people being forced to restore their faith together.

The ignorant nature of people in charge to do terrible things and get away with it is done by the allowance of it. The power of protest one way we have in our capacity to stand up when needed.

The feeling of being outside of important work and only listening had me put a canvas on the easel.  I had met someone involved in the movement  and the energy of its importance was apparent.  My feet were struggling to hit the streets and I needed to get there. The calling taking every bit of my attention.

To understand more deeply what was overtaking me I got quiet and waited. A crocodile came to mind. A great image of the bumps on the back of the crocodile passing before me in water.  I saw an image of my hand reaching out to touch them. The unconscious power sleeping within.

The crocodile is an ancient animal of primal, aggressive emotions, resilience and power. Unbridled feminine power, says Animal Speaks by Ted Andrews. I compulsively began painting the bumps I saw on its back and kept going following every instinct without stop for a number of hours.

Painting red, blue and gold over and over,  feeling the emotions through of being held captive by instincts of revolution while locked in a room. The energy of the world gets moved around and shared. A very real felt sense of everything at once and forming a direct conversation with the present moment.

The lower left began to feel like portals to former and younger versions of myself that had gained perspective and momentum.  A sense of me personally and individually but also the collective itself. It felt like the story of my own development, the development of all humans on their life journeys and also the universal and collective development as a whole.

The upper right feeling like the elder version of myself in the future as an old woman that had offered all she could. And right through the middle, the present, emerging and moving through the portals of transformation to sound the great Om of the conscious and unconscious realms of existence meeting each other. Moving as one with past and future in the collective movement towards greater awareness of ourselves.

The symbol was teaching me of itself. The natural development of time and place eternal by the actions of everything all together and the ability to choose how to enact its knowledge.

The Om symbol came through the painting at me before I painted it. Looking into the portal I saw it emerge from the painting. A great Om from the depths, calling for reality to be known of our lives together in the often aggressive and transformative unconscious state that brings to consciousness what is truly here. In this waking state, illusion is unveiled to experience the transcendental state of the non-physical realm where thoughts and emotions flow through our reality. Everything always moving and changing by every thought and deed.

I had been aware of the symbol for a long time. Chanting it and contemplating its meaning over years of practice. Some part of me grasping the totality of it. Painting it brought its lessons closer and revealed my attempt to hold still what never seems able to.

We feel the collective that is constantly awakening and transforming itself. Shedding the veil between the past and future that comes created by the speed of movement by  everything right now all the time. It lives within us, the power to change to reality.

There is a flame representing the all consuming current moment in a transcended state. It was full burning with information of the veiled work of the collective to change itself.  Burning away the veil of mystery. It felt like the BLM movement itself in the transcended symbol as I painted it. The transcendental reality of collective action. So complicated to explain but it’s what is happening all the time.

The burning that reveals what will be. The awakening of people in every moment by billions and billions of actions. The continued movement of people to be free and safe here together.  The liberated state that is constantly coming is an aggressive power of sewn seeds. The unconscious instincts of humans that play a role in the deep control of fellow human beings in this veiled reality. The deep hatred of humans that still lingers in the dark coming further and again into the light of day.

BLM, like any movement that exists to end suffering, is a collective tool to demand the world  pay closer attention to important matters. We are a world still very much dominated and ran by fascist and racist people working very hard to take liberation from others.  We exist as free as we are thanks to movements that protest and demand awareness and a joining together of collective power in people.

It was very necessary for the rise of BLM to occur and for race talks to continue where they had stopped or where the public was still not even aware of the issue. It is a non-stop conversation fueled by desire for truth.  All the things that were said during the surge of voices by BLM were necessary and still only a blip of yet another push to unveil truths living to degrees unknown.

The lineages of people grappling with this worlds continued ignorance of suffering is what calls out for justice. There is no rest for these great works and it takes people to power them. This is what we are made of and made from. The energy to keep it moving.

We power this world and its happenings everyday with our actions or non actions. Suffering comes in many forms. Not only due to the color of skin but by social and economic status, religious practices, sexual preferences, and the various manners of living.  Transformed perceptions is how we end conflicts based in ignorance.

There is immeasurable damage done by white supremacy, xenophobia, colonization, patriarchal domination and greed. The scars and wounds on the unconscious mind of the collective don’t quiet until heard, healed and prevented.

Here, in Burlington, there were marches every night through the city for a month and an encampment in city park to bring to light the harm caused by the police force.  I did get my feet there to march too.  The momentum took over and every night from a few towns over I could feel the energy rising and needing to get myself there. Nights went by with paintings that involved a new world coming, a black sacred clown, paintings of rainbows calling an awareness to queer culture and also paintings of work being done by mutual aid groups in the city.

It was a time when a mutual aid group in the city expanded its collective power and began offering food and supplies to anyone that needed it. They called themselves Food Not Cops.  They are considered a terrorist group by some in the city. I consider them my friends. I moved to the city because of this work. They still feed people every day and we work together to take care of each other using our natural skills, strengths and interests. There is a lot happening in this city right now. In all of them. I believe in the power of the micro to impact the macro. To do what you can in your own small town to impact the rest of the world.

The energy of people working together creates reality. We move it forward, no one else will do it. It is in our hands where the voices demanding justice land. The work of the world demands attention. Working with the energy and people demanding locked doors be opened along with closed minds to a new reality always being created. We need to know each other and work together.

In describing any of this it is really my desire to bring attention to our shared reality we all feel and know. It is around us, it informs us, and it asks us to act, or we ignore it.  We create it and move it, we deal with it from others. The want for society to find peace is a selfish and selfless desire. What we create in ourselves and in others is shared.

Also, in this painting are a number of eyes. We are watched from many different dimensions and from many different angles and places. The eyes looking from the past or the future as well. We are witnessed and known.